how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
