I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
