We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
