I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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