PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
