I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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