if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
