how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
