the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
