I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
