didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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