my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
