I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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