I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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