Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
