There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
