I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
