She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
