I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
