well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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