Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
