She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
