Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
