I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
