Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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(404): View more from Georgia

Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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(513): View more from Ohio

As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN

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(512): View more from Texas

rest in peace liver.

(254): View more from Texas

It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.

(512): View more from Texas

that's going in my livers obituary.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.

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