This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Did I show you my penis last night?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
