dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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