Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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