Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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