Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
