We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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