drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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