I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
