I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is this like a preordered booty call?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
