new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
