i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
