Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
