I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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