If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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