You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
