I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
