Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
