I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
