Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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