ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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