I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
