hotel room ftw
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
