did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
