Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
