As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
